The pain that was once yours...

Yeah...pretty sad isn't it?:P(wrote this just to keep mark from spitting fire at all my sad writings...message:"SO WHAT IF THEIR SAD!!!!SCREW YOU,YOU PERVE=)))))) " ).

Back to more normal things now,shall we...:

Yes and yes again,
In a fool's paradise have I been wandering,
Century by century,
A plague on both her houses...

My beauty,my lovely beauty...
Age could not wither her,nor flourish her more,
And by the gods,do i not grow tiresome of this lousy guilt,
For what is a guilt without a sinner,and a sinner without its sin?

As pure as the driven snow,
Yet no...a bit too much for my understanding.
And even as good luck would have it,
It seems my fortune was misplaced.

For I must have cherished something else,
If not thy spirit and thy lips,
If not for a single second in the universe,
Would I give all away for just a moment.

Alas,I wish to satisfy my hounds,
As bound I lay to give the Devil my due,
Yet know that it all,from the begging,
Was meant to bring thy joy,and never sorrow,or such alike.

I have not slept one wink,waiting for her so ever bright star,
And if music be the food of love,then her music could indulge even angels,
In the twinkling of an eye one could tell of her tremendous heart,
And all the secrets and burdens it holds forever locked.

My once goddess,the milk of human kindness,
How I am pound of flesh for my betrayal,
How I wish to be at ease and live once more in peace,
Hear me...or do you wish that i shuffle off this mortal coil?

Bury me if that might loosen thy strain,
Drown me in all those tears that you once gave birth.
Or,worst still,promise to never forgive,
And let my ghost,make forever steps throughout the realm.

P.S.:
Once again,I just have to say,
That there is never night nor day,
When I wish to have swallowed my words,
And gave sense to our reality.

Inspiration:
The fray-You found me
(The first song I heard from her...and I still miss...)

How about now?

(terribly sorry,but i just can't help it...)

So much time has passed since the funeral...
I can still smell the flowers from her hair,that dangling perfume,and it is still that smile I regret loosing.Will the guilt ever end?I hope not,so at least I could still be left with my memories(cruel nevertheless yet still,memories).Why and why again,I wonder while awake at night,did it all turn out so bad,so harsh.I turn my head around for a second,and then i cover my face with a pillow.I know why...and still it is still me,who poses this question.

If I were to judge now,from the all the memories that I poses,what was the utmost "failed" person that I have ever met,then I would stand forward with dignity,for I know my wrongs and rights,and by balancing them,I can tell that my existence has caused so much hurt and pain,that no lover could ever forgive...It is in this matter I wish to present my newest creation,with dignity and shame alike:

I know what I did and ask that you believe,
That never have I destroyed,and in thoughts deceived,
As I did to you.

It is here,the resting place,of that that once was
And of what still remains,
The glass being filled with regrets.

Yet a regret is nothing without pain,
And as you have felt pain throughout those times,
My pain was bound to be forever since.

P.S.:
I hope I will have the chance to meet you one day,
And that you will grant me a moment to bow,
So that in that moment,I can finally release my curse,
And maybe see that smile I dream of every night.

Will the wheel actually turn???!!!

It's about time I wrote something(preferably in english...xxx to MarK:P).So here it goes:

On the floor with a bottle and a necklace,
It is in these coffins that I chose redemption,
That I withdrew,in the hope of rebirth,
In the hope...yet again.

Still,as hope is simply but a coin,
Tossed in the air,destined to choose a side,
So was my conviction,
No more,but a side.

It is now,the moment I wish to reveal,
To discover and displace,
To be bound to time and space,
To let the wounds so deep,finally a the chance to heal.

You might wonder whether it was faith,
Or maybe if it were luck,
That I choose today to be the day,
That i banished my ghosts,and chose to stay.

P.S.:
A memory in the dark,
Worthless if it holds no mark,
As from the dark we came,
And to the dark we shall return.
(AND NO...THIS IS NOT GENESIS:P)

Inspiration:
Mazzy Star-Fade into you